His entrance? He randomly texted you after months of no contact. Now, the actual sane question! Why would he be entitled to such behavior? The answer to this question is going to be a lot more nuanced than just black and white. Different individuals, different ways of connecting and connections, right? Here’s why he randomly texts you after months:
1. It’s purely sexual intentions
One of the reasons why he might text you after so long is the need to hook up with someone as soon as he can. Men tend to be driven by their specific interests when it comes to their consistency in texting. On the other hand, their interests reflect on the consistency of texts as well. When interested in more than just a hookup, they tend to be more invested, they put in more effort, and they’re more engaged in general. But, things are different when there’s not much of an emotional connection. One of the reasons why he only texts you once a month can be that he thinks he can get sex from you. He’ll be willing to give it a try because “Who knows, maybe she’ll let me in this time!”
2. He’s making sure you don’t move on
After breaking a connection, the people involved might have a hard time moving on. The journey becomes particularly more difficult when one finds out that the other is doing better off without them. After touch is lost and things have grown distant and apart, there’s room for wondering and there’s uncertainty about where you’re at in your life. One of the surefire ways to interrupt your ex’s healing journey is to sneak back into their lives by texting them randomly. Certainly, he knows that. He might be reluctant to accept the fact that he’s forgettable, hence taking action and making sure you don’t move on. In other words, one of the reasons why he’s randomly texting you after months could be his need to remind you of his existence and his need to not be forgotten.
3. He’s desperate for validation
Insecure men tend to have their sources of validation secured. He needs comfort and validation and he knows exactly who can provide him with that. When things aren’t working well in his dating life and things seem to have slowed down with other people, he’s likely to clean the dust on the old shelves of his DM. Because of his low-self esteem, he’ll rely on external validation to have an ego boost and feel good about himself. As much as it is a pity, it can be very unhealthy and manipulative. He’s likely to manipulate you into the illusion that he’ll get back to you, or that he’ll be yours one day. Once he gets that validation, he might disappear again until the next time he needs it again.
4. He just thought of you
Leaving the negative perspectives aside for a bit and thinking of the genuine possibilities of this scenario, we can find something heartwarming too. He might randomly text you after months because he thought of you that day, that moment. Something or someone reminded him of your existence and the time you shared with him. You visited his mind all of a sudden and he decided to take action on it and text you to see how you’re doing or maybe reminisce about the old days. It can be entirely casual or it can have a romantic motive behind it. It can be as simple as a lightning bolt of thought of you struck because of something random he saw or heard or it can be as complicated as several days of nonstop thinking of you.
5. It’s part of a manipulation strategy
Narcissistic manipulation strategies include (but are not limited to) things such as Zombieing, Cookiejarring, or Breadcrumbing. Essentially, they shower you with attention, and the best thing you’ve experienced is to then leave you hanging by disappearing out of nowhere. That leaves you feeling desperate and in need of their return. Knowing exactly what they’re doing, makes them feel important and powerful. This doesn’t have to necessarily be a narcissistic guy, he could be someone who’s into games and manipulation strategies in general. Such a strategy gets you involved but also provides him enough of the validation he needs to feel important and capable of receiving validation when he needs it. It keeps you hooked without much effort and commitment is far off the picture because you’re distracted by his mercurial presence in your life.
6. It took him time to take the courage
Things in connections are not always easy and simple. A lot of relationships and connections have complications and complex factors that influence their flows. If he likes you secretly, or if you had a stable connection but things got complicated on the way he’s more likely to take some time off. Once he takes that time off, he might either finally take the courage to text you or leave it up to you. In this case, he’s the one who chose to take the courage and finally break the silence to text you months after. Whether you were friends, dates, or lovers, a complicated situation can be enough to draw you apart and feel the need for space before one of you makes the first move. This is where he took the courage to step in and make things interesting again. It can be his way of trying to work out what happened or clarify what you’ve left unclear.
7. He’s been missing you
No matter what your connection to him was, he could be missing you. When a guy texts you after a long time, it’s often for a strong reason or an impulse he couldn’t control. One of those impulses is often driven by nostalgia and longing for a person. Whether you were drawn apart gradually or abruptly, your connection and what you shared can be something to spark nostalgia in him Nostalgia can be a strong drive and a source of an impulse that’s very difficult to control. Whether he’s your ex or just someone you’ve had a connection with, he could be missing you and couldn’t help but text you after such a long time of no contact.
8. He doesn’t want to lose touch with you
He wants to know where you’re at in life, so he’s texting you. Sometimes a connection just fades and the next thing you know you haven’t talked to that person in months. You get reminded of them by someone or something and you simply want to know where they’re at in life, what they’ve been doing, and how they’re doing. Some connections just fade with time, but despite it, they still manage to be there and to be thought of now and then. He wants to get back in touch with you or maybe he just doesn’t want to lose touch with you. It’s just that one text you receive once in 6 months every time from someone you once knew but whom your paths no longer cross. The internet made a lot of things easier but it also complicated the ways we communicate with one another. A simple text that leads to small talk that won’t last more than a few minutes can be considered just as a “we’re still good” conversation once in a year with a person you once knew but don’t hang out with any longer.
9. He was lonely and bored
This is a classical one. A lot of men admit to having that little list of people they turn to when they’re lonely and bored. It’s not a little list. It is essentially every person they know that was a potential date once but is no longer one. When things get dusty and lonely in their dating lives and they’ve got nothing better to do, they go through each one of their old contacts to ignite a spark. A spark that’ll perhaps give their boredom a reason to go away for a little while. When the texting isn’t consistent, so is his attention toward you. If a guy is genuinely interested in you and your connection isn’t conditioned by external complicated factors, he’ll text you more often than once in a blue moon.
10. He thinks there’s still a spark left
He gave it a try before, but it didn’t work out, and he couldn’t “land” you. He waited for a few months, now he’s texting you again just in case there’s hope with you. In other words, he’s giving your connection one more try before he gives up entirely. If you didn’t communicate your disinterest in him directly, then he might have a hard time reading the room and coming to the conclusion that there’s no hope in trying to start a connection with you. Men like to give things a try, perhaps more than it’s needed, right? Whether you had a connection with him or he thought having one was a good idea and you disagreed with him, he’s giving it one more try. He’s thinking there’s still a spark left between you two hence giving it a shot and shooting you a text that might or might not change the flow of your connection.
11. He’s feeling guilt and shame for hurting you
An apology received late is better than no apology at all. It took him time to realize what he did or what the right thing to do was but he got there eventually. Men admit to getting back to their old connection after months have passed since that connection was over to apologize properly or because of guilt and shame. He did something he shouldn’t do, and maybe at the time he didn’t apologize properly, now he’s giving it a chance to do it the right way. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to reignite a spark. He’s likely wanting to clear the waters and do the right thing: properly apologizing for hurting you.
12. He wants you back
A guy that’s an ex is likely to randomly text you because he wants you back. He has hopes that you might want the same thing as he does and so he’s willing to take the chance and text you, even if it is random. Besides the reasons above, a guy would text you after not texting for 6 months because he wants you back in his life. He wants reconciliation, he wants what he had with you, and he wants to give things another try with you. Depending on your connection with him and the reason why it ended or faded, wanting you back can be a highly possible reason why he’d text you.
How to respond when a guy texts you out of the blue? What should you do?
Your crush texted you after months, you’re feeling confused, not joyful. If a guy randomly texts you he might as well like you, but from a general perspective, if he’d like you he’d text more often than once a month. If he just texted you after a month of no contact, or even longer, you’re left with a decision to make: do you text him back or not? That’s what we’re tackling here! Here’s how to respond when a guy texts you out of the blue:
– Decide whether he’s worthy of your time.
Take some space to think whether responding is a good idea or not. The best way to figure that out is to reevaluate his place in your life. Ask yourself, “Is he worthy of my time and does he deserve a place in my life?” After such a long time of no communication, you’ve had enough time to figure out that your life can be pretty awesome despite his presence in it. Now that he came back, it’s time to decide whether you’re willing to let him in or simply continue as it was with no communication.
– Figure out his intentions and try to see how you’re feeling about him.
Try to have a clear idea behind his reappearance after such a long time, especially the reasons behind why he pulled away out of nowhere. In such situations it’s not a shame to ask, on the contrary, it is necessary. A simple question will do, enough so that you get a glimpse into what he’s up to. Here,
“What happened that made you text me now?” “I’m glad to know you’re okay. I’m just a bit surprised about your reappearance all of a sudden.” “Would you mind telling me the reason that made you text me today?” “I appreciate the fact that you decided to reach out. I just don’t understand why.” “Thank you for reaching out. Though, I’m curious, why after such a long time?”
– Was his behavior fair to you?
The answer to this question will clear some clouds and will make a lot of things make sense in this situation. He’s randomly texting you after months, you’re left confused and puzzled. Is his behavior fair to you? Now, if you two were dating and he just stopped texting all of a sudden, then this is not fair behavior. Would you be able to do the same for him? Think about your connection with him, what you shared with him in the past, and how your connection faded (was it abrupt or gradual) and eventually you’ll find the answer to this question. Once you get to that answer, it’ll be time for you to make the decision: text him back or not text him back.
– Respond like you normally would if you feel like it.
If you feel like he deserves a response from you, then respond. If you feel like his behavior was fair to you, then respond. You can casually and normally text him back, answering his questions, and eventually, if you feel like it, ask the questions you want to ask. Carry the conversation the way you feel it’s best to do so. Evaluate his intentions, his behavior, and his actions. If he’s worthy of your time and effort; if it was fair to you; if you’ve got issues to tackle then respond to his text. If your connection was light and friendly before it faded away, and his intentions don’t seem twisted then you can text him back if you feel like it.
– You can ignore his text.
If he doesn’t deserve a spot in your life, if his behavior was toxic, and if his return is making you feel uneasy, you can ignore his text altogether. You can ignore his text if you don’t feel like responding. He took months to get back to you, now you’ve got every right to make a decision you feel good about. Even if that decision is ignoring his text. He’s been gone for months, you’ve had your fair share of emotions from this situation, and now that he’s back, you’re capable of making a decent decision. Dating can be difficult and puzzling when there are games involved. It can trick you into thinking you’re less than you are. Turn that around, reach out to someone who listens, and prioritize yourself before making a decision when you’re dealing with flaky people. You’ve got this! Love, Callisto
