It leaves you confused, feeling in denial, and broken. A guy might ignore your texts or calls for various reasons. Maybe he wants you to chase him, he’s uncertain about his feelings, or he might’ve been dating someone else. It depends on the type of text he sends and the time frame of detachment if you should reply or not. I know that it triggers you and at that moment you feel overwhelmed. You ask how long should I wait to text him after he ignored me? Don’t rush. Take a step back and reflect on your situation. You’ll feel it in your gut! 10 tips to know exactly what to do when he texts after ignoring you.
1. Find the reason why he ignored your messages
To solve the mystery you can start to dig for the reason that lies behind it. Whether he’s ignoring you on purpose or due to other circumstances. Before asking him directly for an explanation, do some reflection. Has this been the first time he has ignored you? Has he done it before? A relationship is made for two people two work on it. A person who needs space to reflect would communicate his needs. According to how long you’ve been in this relationship, you’ll reflect differently. You’ll notice when he wants you to leave him alone, if he’s hurt by you, or if his feelings have changed. To have a clearer idea, check the structure of his text. If he texts you without any explanation or apology then he’s using detachment as an excuse. Maybe he’s seeing someone else, you might have created a toxic environment for him, or he might be a player.
2. Define for how long he has been ignoring you
The longitude of how long he ignores you defines the interest he has in you. If you’re in a relationship, had awful arguments and he ignores you for a couple of weeks, then the relationship might be ending. In this case, yes, you should text him back if he ignored you for days. You can send a simple text just to ask for closure. This way you won’t torture yourself. It’ll be easier for you to either move on or search for other ways to mend your relationship. If you’re just dating then you might choose to:
Ignore his text, or
Ask him politely and shortly to not continue dating anymore;
3. Determine your feelings
Before deciding whether to reply back or not, sort your feelings out. Don’t write any reply while being hurt, wanting to take revenge, or feeling desperate. Reflect on this time while he was ignoring you and how you were feeling. Take your time. If you need two days, a week, or two to reflect, take it. By taking a step back, focusing on yourself for a few days, setting his text aside: Let your feelings do the work.
4. Don’t reply to him immediately
It’s quite understandable to feel overwhelmed by his text. Even if he has been ignoring you for a day or a few days. Being in denial can instill in you intrusive thoughts. That’s why you feel anxious, in denial, and sometimes unwanted. This means that if you reply in an instant, you’ll reply from the place of blame, shame, and hurt. Moreover, if his text gives you mixed feelings and is not clear, it’s better to not reply in an instant. This applies to both situations. Using more time to work on yourself and wait for the right time to reply, can save you from hurt and mistakes.
5. Check if he’s breadcrumbing you
Breadcrumbing is one of the details to check when he’s ignoring you. When you receive this type of text after weeks of being ignored, you wonder should I text him back or ignore him. Ask yourself, he ghosted you for weeks and now comes with a simple “Hi” or “How you’ve been”. You’re left with no explanations. In this case, you should choose to ignore him too. If you answer breadcrumbing, you’ll get misled and hurt. Even if he’s hurt or has some issues, if he appreciates and loves you then he’ll give you an apology. He’ll try to explain his behavior. He’ll come up with some answers for your relationship issues. If he isn’t interested in the relationship anymore, he’ll send mixed signals with his texts. Those are pretty misleading and senseless texts.
6. Inform him about your boundaries (your stance)
There is no need for boundaries if he has been ignoring you for a day. There is no need to bring up the question: Should I text him back after he ignored me for a day? No, you shouldn’t ignore him. Even you and he need a day to recharge yourself. Sometimes you just feel like not replying to a text or even calling. If he texts back, days (weeks) after ignoring you then you need to draw your boundaries. Let him know that you are progressing on your own. Convey to him that you have your limits too. Give him some room to come and communicate with you whenever he’s ready.
7. Don’t ignore him back
Ignoring him back as a form of revenge will make reconciling or moving on even harder. If you use the theory ‘He ignored my text should I ignore his’, the situation will be stale and chaotic. In this situation, trying to play mind games will backfire on you. Giving a slight chance to communicate will prevent you from making common mistakes. You can reply with simple text without adding a needy tone to it. If you ask for closure either to your date, your ex, boyfriend, partner, or husband- you won’t be stuck in limbo. Note: This piece of advice is not applicable in the case when he’s breadcrumbing you.
8. Be precise and don’t reveal your feelings
It’s never a good idea to be vulnerable if he ignores you for weeks. You still don’t know why he did it and how you feel at this moment. You should have the right mindset when he texts you after ignoring you. Try not to make a decision based on your feelings. What I’m implying is that you should balance your feelings. Define how you can make things work. Defining how you feel towards him and what you’ll do will help you to not be manipulated even further. If he’s the master of mind games, you’ll move on. If he was scared of commitment but loves you, you’ll know how to react.
9. Reflect on your behavior too
Sometimes you might be caught up in the relationship and you can’t take a step back to reflect. Before replying to his text, shift the mindset from him to you. Try to spot the flaws and your effort in this relationship or dating. He might be hurt by you and that’s what made him distant. Maybe, you’ve been obsessing over him to date you exclusively. Take a closer look at the structure of the text and how he stands towards you. If you think that your relationship has a future, ask him for some time on your own. After that, you’ll reflect and then you’ll make a decent decision.
10. Sympathise him to a certain extent
Being ignored by a guy for months without a reason makes you feel puzzled. If you had been having dates, you were flirty and having a pretty good intimate life, then suddenly he ignores you. In this case, you should try to understand his distance to some extent. He might be scared of moving too fast with the relationship. On the other hand, he might have lost interest in you after having sex. Reply to him, but this time define your borders. Ask him slightly if he needs to talk about your relationship. Note: If he’s interested in you and not only to fulfill his needs, he will explain his behavior. Don’t put energy, time, and effort into a relationship if he can’t reciprocate the same.
How long should I wait to text him back after he ignored me?
You should wait to text him back until you feel ready to communicate with him again. It could be one day or two or even more. It all depends on what circumstances he chose to ghost you. Another important factor is to check for how long he has been ignoring you. ~ If he has been ignoring you just for a day then it doesn’t mean that you should hold grudges for too long. Evaluate the situation. Find out the reason why he has been acting like that. In this case, you can get a couple of hours to rethink how to reply to him. You don’t want to reply to him while you’re mad or irritated. ~ If he has been ignoring you for more than two weeks. He might have pulled away from you for a variety of reasons. He might have lost interest in you or have had a hard time by himself. In this situation, it’s better to not reply immediately. Take your time. If a day or two is enough to collect your thoughts and feelings then take this time. By not replying immediately you also give him not what he wanted. You show him that you have things in control and draw your boundaries. ~ Check if you have a reason to answer him. If you’ve been feeling inferior and small towards him, take enough time to sort out your feelings. Things won’t get worse if you take a couple of days to control your feelings. This way you’ll find out how you feel in reality. This gap will trigger his consciousness too. You’re not replying immediately and he’ll understand your stance towards him. To cut it short, I do not recommend replying immediately since you’ll lose scarcity. You’ll lose the chance to make him curious about you. He won’t be able to see you be independent and choose for yourself.
Should I answer his call after he ignored me?
You shouldn’t answer his call immediately after he has been ignoring you. This is not a suggestion to play a mind game. Use the time to answer correctly to what you want and need from him. A man calls back after ignoring you for different reasons. He might have called out of boredom, he wants to apologize or he feels lonely. Here’s what to do if he finally calls after ignoring you:
- Don’t pick it up yet! I repeat, not to answer in an instant. You can answer when you’re calm and ready to talk. It could be after a couple of hours. I know that it could be very tempting and you want to feel loved again. Yet, it’s better to not pick up immediately. It’s pretty inconsiderate to ghost someone and then come back as if nothing happened. No matter for what reason he did it.
- Avoid attacking him over the phone. When you take his call, don’t ask him immediately why he has been ignoring you. Try to stay calm and avoid the needy tone. Keep the conversation general. You need to show your detachment too yet be friendly enough to give him space to react. Be the one to end the conversation.
- If you feel that you need to end the relationship. If he had been ignoring you for months and had been playing push and pull, you know the answer. Answer his call if you want to end things. I do not suggest delivering this news immediately. You can talk to him over the phone and ask him to meet so you can talk. Prepare him over the phone by giving hints about how you’re feeling.
Extra text samples: Reply back like a pro!
- If you want to give him a second chance. “I’ve been good, you?… If you have time, I need to talk.” “ Hey. If you need to talk, I am here.” “I am aware of your distance and I respect it. Do you want to talk about it?”
- You want to let him know that it’s over. “ I respect your distance. Also, I wanted to let you know that we need to have one last call.” “Things have been tough. I cannot see the silver lining of this relationship.”
- You want to give him some days to rethink his decision. “ If you need time to recharge, take the time you need. Let me know when it ends.” “ Look, being distant is understandable but hard at the same time. Call me when you have a clear head.”
The end: Should I text him back or ignore him?
Whether you should text him back or ignore him depends on your relationship, why he ignored you, and how you feel at that moment. Instead of playing mind games, ignoring back, and being stuck, ask for closure. Don’t try to burn the bridge while you jump to conclusions. Give your partner some space to explain himself but draw your boundaries too. If he tries to justify himself then it’s better to pull yourself out of that relationship. Hugs, Callisto
