How do you explore your kinks and how do you get to feel comfortable with your fetishes in a world that still judges kinky sex as ‘perverted’? How do you embrace your kinky side?
1. Find and learn about your kinks
The first thing to know about your kinky side is to decide what gives you pleasure. Understanding not just what turns you on, but how and why it turns you on, can surely get your partner excited about trying something new and interesting. And yes, imagine explaining that stuff to your partner when you are blindfolded with your hands tied!
2. Get ready for the talk
After you have learned about your kinks, talking with your SO is the next step. If you are shy, leave the lights off, so you don’t need to see his face when you share your kinky and naughty ideas. Be specific when you talk. Saying yes, yes, yes, is not always enough. If you don’t like something that your partner does, you need to tell him. Honest and open communication will eventually get you both where you want to be and what you actually want to do.
3. Start with hypotheticals
Start off slow and make it sexy and enticing for your partner. You are expressing the ‘deep end’ when you discuss the fantasy. It takes a bit of the pressure off.
4. Give instructions to your partner
Giving your partner instructions and telling them why you love seeing them doing stuff can be extra encouraging. Right? When a man tells his girlfriend he wants to have a threesome, it’s not that he wants to get in bed with another woman. The reality may be that he finds it stimulating to see his girl getting pleasured. Even if you think he finds your fantasy daunting, making it about him can be empowering and make him more receptive.
5. Try it out
Has your SO ever asked you for anal sex? Some have never tried it and don’t want to. That’s okay. If you are uncomfortable with it, you have every right to say no. But, if you want to try your kinky side, give it a shot. Do you want to try bondage? Yeah, discover your kinky side with whatever you want to with your partner. Many people have read and watched Fifty Shades of Grey. Remember that it is just fiction and a lot of what you read or watch is not supposed to be the way it works. BDSM is based on safe, rational, and consensual interactions between adults and believes it or not, some of what goes on in BDSM has nothing to do with sex! Don’t be afraid to use your imagination and enjoy the journey to your kinky side. This can be a fun learning experience for you and your partner and can lead to much more satisfying sex life.
