Oedipus is distraught with this revelation and pieces together his side of the story. Oedipus had escaped from his home after listening to a similar prophecy, killed a man with whom he entered into an argument (his father, Laius), landed in Thebes where he solved a riddle by the Sphinx and became the king. As was the custom, he wed queen Jocasta and begot children with her. Unwittingly, Oedipus killed his father, married his mother and had children with her, thereby fulfilling the prophecy. Tragic, isn’t it? The term Oedipal complex or Oedipus complex was coined by the 20th-century psychologist, Sigmund Freud. Freud was working on his theory of psychosexual stages of development. the Oedipus complex is evident in Shakespeare’s understanding of Hamlet. So what is the Oedipus complex?
Oedipus complex, the definition
We know that the character of Oedipus unwittingly murdered his father and slept with his mother. So, a person with Oedipus complex desires to win the possession of the opposite-sex parent, all the while harbouring anger and jealousy towards the parent of same-sex. For example, boy contests with his father to win his mother. According to Freud, the Oedipus complex occurs in the phallic stage of psychosexual development between the ages of three to five. This stage is important in terms of forming a sexual identity of the child.
Symptoms of Oedipal complex
If you’re sexually attracted towards your mother you find yourself fighting many desires together – the desire to be physically and emotionally close to her, the desire to possess her, the need to win her affections at any cost, the wanting to be her favourite instead of your father. Often, unconsciously or consciously, the symptoms of the Oedipal complex might start showing in your actions. The signs of the Oedipus complex are always evident from childhood. One just needs to understand the signs and symptoms and evaluate them accordingly. Children are usually clingy to their mothers but the signs of Oedipus complex are different. Let us take a look at a few of the symptoms of the Oedipal complex.
1. Your father shouldn’t hug or kiss your mom
A hug or kiss is normal between couples. But you can’t stand your father hugging or kissing your mother. Their physical intimacy makes you jealous.
2. You want to sleep with her
This doesn’t necessarily mean having intercourse. You might simply want to sleep next to her when your father is out of town. And if your mother permits, you’re thrilled. But when your father returns, you don’t want to give back your position. You want to replace him.
3. She is your priority
Whether near or far, you need to think about her. You talk with her every day on the phone. She becomes more important than your wife or children.
4. You admire her way too much
The way your mother walks, talks, moves, dresses, speaks or acts – everything about her is admirable. You can’t help but praise her and adore her way too extravagantly.
5. You get into verbal battles with your father
Since your father is a rival, you find yourself getting angry when he hugs or kisses your mom too often in front of you. And sometimes, you shout and threaten him to stay away from your mother.
6. You might deal with sexual impotence
Every time you’re sexually aroused, the image of your mother crops up in your mind. You then have to repress these feelings. Continuous repression of sexual desires can lead to sexual impotency.
7. You have unstable relationships
You find jumping from relationship to another. It is difficult to commit to one girl. The very thought of sharing a physical bonding with another girl is not acceptable to you.
8. You are attracted to older people
If any woman who is older to you and has your mother’s traits, you’re instantly attracted. You try to seek her attention and try to get romantically involved with her.
How to cure the Oedipus complex?
If the Oedipus complex is not cured, it can result in several psychological repressions. It might affect your individual growth as a normal and satisfied adult. It Oedipus complex persists in adulthood it might also culminate in feelings of frustration and anger at not being able to save your romantic relationship with your partner. Therefore, it is inevitable that you try to cure this complex. Oedipus complex treatments are available and you can go to a psychological counsellor who could help you treat your issue. But to find a cure for your Oedipus complex you can take a few steps. Here are some methods you can practice.
Acceptance – the road to healing begins with it. As an adult, you need to accept your feelings. Only then can you work on eliminating it. It is only with the acceptance that you’ll find the strength to motivate yourselfStop identifying too much with your mother, specifically while trying to build a romantic relationshipFree yourself from the role of a child. Don’t try to make decisions based on what your mother would or wouldn’t think. Grow up independently as an adultChannel your energies toward positive activities. Join a gym or sports clubs. TravelTry to satisfy you satisfy your sexual urges through other mediums. Your mother isn’t the only way. Remember, you have to respect her and her dignity. There are other ways to satisfy your sexual desires. You can consult a sex counsellor if you’re unable to cope on your ownConsult a psychiatrist or psychoanalyst. The Oedipus complex is something purely psychological. Effective therapy sessions might help you overcome it
Sexual attraction towards your mother isn’t something unnatural or completely unheard of. But a failure to address it timely may have serious consequences. One must abide by it, or the very stability of a society is destroyed. From every aspect, the rules dictate that you respect and love your mother, not lust for her.
